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The president, called for a national dialogue on race, which, as my faithful readers know, I faithfully answered.  Now, at his news conference, he seemed to think the arrest of Harvard professor, Henry Louis Gates, Jr. was a case of racial profiling, and used the word “stupidity” to describe the mindset of arresting officers.  I believe it is now a time for a national dialogue on cops, and here, I offer the opening volley, as frankly as possible: 

Having been both the victim of false arrest and, as a former probation officer and court clerk, as having been a law enforcement officer, I can contribute the following two bits, which you can take straight to the bank.

Police officers are accultured very much like teammates on a rabid rugby team, but that the goal, rather than to win the championship, is to arrest criminals with the least vulnerabity shown. The vast majority of people who aren’t overly-aggressive in a dysfuctional way will not ever apply for this job, let alone make it through training. Cruel people make great modern cops.

It’s no secret. Any good cop will tell you this.

But, Professor Gates needs not worry about patrolmen, unlike his racial brothers who are arrested in hordes all over our country, all day long, every day of the year (don’t take my word–just go take a seat at your local criminal court and observe the tide that never ebbs while the mostly-White law enforcement professionals pass their days earning good money off the industry.)

Unlike them, Gates was important enough to be arrested by a Sergeant.

Sergeants are less aggressive, less cruel, and less stupid than most cops. That’s why they get to wear white shirts.

So, Gates probably told somebody off. Maybe he yelled a bit, right? (The police report claims he berated cops, following them out of the house, ignoring warnings…) A man on his own property should have the right to tell off a cop. If the cop doesn’t like it, he should vamoose. He wasn’t invited, his name’s not on the deed, he’s not welcome. If he doesn’t like the founder of the feast, in the words of the late, great (and simultaneously godaweful,) MJ, just beat it.

But Stormtrooper cops come along with a badge of pride made out of tissue paper. Any street bum will tell you the first thing you must do with them is submit. In a land where sophisticated weapons designed for the mass slaughter of human beings are sold like salt water taffy, if you are a cop, you look on any failure to show complete submission as being capable of turning your switch off should you be so “stupid” to let your guard down.

Click.

Dummy.

You can’t expect cops to be Conan the Barbarian one moment, and then, the next, to put up with a more-intelligent, pip-squeak, famous professor telling them off with words they do not know.

So, you see, as in all my blogs, the US world-conquerin’, gas-guzzlin’, gun-lovin’ populace is to blame.

But, hold the boat. Did I just sidestep the racial issue??

It’s a red herring. Not that I am insensitive to the issue. If Gates was pulled over for failing to signal a turn or running a yellow light here in the Bronx, we could assume profiling was the issue. Black men are subjected to inappropriate suspicion by cops ALL THE TIME, but, well, let’s define our terms first:

The issue of profiling nowadays has less to do with institutional racism or purposeful racism and mainly to do with the failure of inner-city cops who spend their shifts in conflict with Black men to exercise the sophistication necessary to avoid falling into a routine behavior of assuming non-uniformed Blacks to be criminal. Having the same experience as White officers, Black officers profile Blacks, too.

So, is this media circus based on a case that has anything to do with racial profiling? It seems to be more the case of the media, only capable of dealing in simple spoon food, avoiding tackling the real, much more complex issues (because US citizens do not like reading long, complicated news articles where more-intelligent people tell them things they do not know.)

The famous professor was breaking into his home, as a neighbor reported seeing 2 men breaking in, so a cop can’t be blamed for his suspicion. Once Gates identified himself, (which he at first supposedly refused to do,) profiling cannot occur. Profiling has to do with assuming something that is wrong. Gates wasn’t busted for burglary, but DisCon. He wasn’t improperly suspected–he lost his keys and busted in.

Maybe there was racism, but no one–including the president–has heard such allegations.

To a reasonable person, it sounds like the famous Professor Gates acted angry (maybe justifiably, but, in any case, certainly within his rights–there’s no law against being even unreasonably angry in your own home,) and was arrested for not allowing the cops to walk away with their self-respect (remember, cops often lose their self-respect if you merely curl your eyebrow.)

Right?

They humiliated him because they didn’t like his attitude, something that cops do without blinking, all over this Land of Freedom all the time.

You could find more racial injustice by picking one criminal court case at random than by buttering this rich, famous guy’s media event with sympathy.

But, nobody’d buy your newspaper. Who wants to read about Jimmy Butler–who never got to call a sergeant–who was arrested because he was an a street where cops were sweeping up people after a drug bust?

“Why? Because I’m a Black man in America?” –What Cambridge, Massachussets cops got from Professor Gates the first time they asked for his ID.

“Yes, sir, officer. Should I reach in my pocket now for it?”–What we say in the Bronx.

Would you rather have friendly cops like they have in Ireland?

Good–so would I. Now all we have to do is outlaw guns, flush all this stupid violence from our Hollywood culture, make parenting classes mandatory and hold parents legally responsible for their children’s misdeeds, annnd… Oh, yeah, fire all the cops and hire sociology grads to take their place as Gardas.

Be a good lad, and fill me up another.