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I stopped maturing in college.  Other guys I know became men: businessmen, administrative men, corporate men, manly sportsy men,…  Their culture is experiencing a bit of a dip in popularity right now, as many, having lost their jobs, are having trouble hanging onto their expensive/employment-defined personas.  They are reverting, as it is, back to adolescence. 

I can handle one of these businessmen, administrative men, corporate men, manly sportsy men head-to-head, but you put two of them together and I really cease to exist.  Unless there’s another like me around.

You put two over-aged adolescents  in the room with, say, a lawyer-man  and an administrator-man, and fireworks can ensue.  It is delightful fun to follow a diatribe on a man’s golf swing with a remembrance of him losing the side tape to his diaper and making a mess all over the couch. 

Or to laugh out loud at the mention of a 401K, and snort, “I didn’t think anyone still talked about them in public!”

To me, sports/video games, contracts, business models, and excessively expensive play are no more civilized adult human conversation than are Star Trek and Dungeons and Dragons, and this is because they are, instead, inorganic diversions from real, relevant thought. 

Some over-aged adolescents are  better than me, capable of holding down a square job for a long time (even earning advanced degrees in meaningless blather like business and economics) without feeling the need to reconcile it with their adolescent nature.  These guys make a decent living–accepted by industry as riverbed stones (they have no interest in stepping into the boss’s shoes some day.)  They are better than me, because, not only do they understand the shallow inanity of corporate/administrative endeavor, but they are able to exercise their will on it to their benefit.

There are really no things that the vast majority of men do that don’t come off as knuckle-dragging chimpine affectations to me, and, unlike a riverbed stone, I cannot get myself to cooperate.  Which is why I do not belong.

I endure my brother telling me he views my life through the lens of games theory and that  I refuse to play the game, because I think I am bound to lose.   Though I reject the idiotic lens, I cannot see why a person even stupid enough to use the lens would want to play a game where they are bound to lose–and why opting out would not be the best option by far.

Anyway, who would choose to play a GAME with their life’s fate??

Someone who doesn’t take their life seriously.

Adolescents are very ego-centric.  They take their lives verrry seriously.

See?  Logical.  Circuitously so.